Monday, July 27, 2009

Harry Potter and the Curse of the Forbidden Scribe

Hello Followers. I hope that you all had a fun, fanciful, and spiritual weekend.

Speaking of which, have you all seen the newest and latest Harry Potter movie?

Well, if you’re like the thousands of other followers in that Pu ram of mine, the plot twists of the current film have created much anticipation for what happens in subsequent episodes of what I call the "Hogwart Follies."

So, in order to appease the faithful (and your many secular and unbridled needs to know what happens next in the series), I conducted a bit of me own research. And here is what I found:

According to the London Tea and Crumpet Dispatch, the final episode of the Potter series is thrilling, shocking and disturbing--all at the same time.

Apparently, following the death of Albus “Troy” Percival Dumbledore, Potter and his cosmic knaves become spiritually lost during their hunt for Voldemort's sinister seven relics.

Amidst their loss of faith and direction, the evil Lord Voldemort tricks the group into submission, captures a drunken Potter, and then encases him alongside his well-known Slytherin nemesis, Draco Malfoy.

According to the LTCD, the evil dark lord then casts his penultimate spell on both Potter and Malfoy in a manner that combines the two young lads into one singular supervillain WARLORD that eventually rules the free and spirit worlds alike.

The visage and result of that creation:

Bob Condotta.

From being widely known and heralded as the greatest to ever come out of WSU (e.g. the journalistic “chosen one” of Washington State University), Mr. Condotta of the Seattle Times has recently shown once again that he is continuing to fall deeper and deeper into the dark side of the dreaded infidel-Defeateds.

Need evidence? Before the season even begins for the dreaded Defeateds, B.C. has shown his Voldemortean zeal in predicting that the LINE of the Apple Cup will be UW plus 11—six weeks before the season even begins.

Brother Bob, the line isn’t going to be eleven. And, while I truly love and admire you and your work in so many ways, I cannot believe how much you’ve turned (You think the UW will win by more than eleven???????). For that, only one Carma Chameleon for you, my fellow summer wanderer.

May this year find new hope and a renewed sense of Cougar Carma for you, BC.

And to the rest of the true and unbridled faithful, I bid a hearty “Coug-De-L’Amor.”

-Osho Rojo


Anonymous said...

Condotta is a lost cause. He turned to the dark side many moons ago.

Portland Coug said...

I am like Natalie Imbruglia, TORN, on Condotta. Part of me cannot fault Condotta. After all he has to put food on the table and have a roof over his head so covering UW brings home bacon. But my problems with Condotta are more about the cheerleading. Maybe it is me but it seems like he has been wearing purple and gold pompoms more and more of his posts. He is a beat writer and employee of the Times, not hired to blow up the love ala Dawmgan. He reads more fan than reporter now.

I thought maybe this is the curse of the beatwriter who also blogs and they cannot help but fall for the team they cover. But then I read Vince Grippi and you can see that Grippi is not a fan of WSU but Condotta has changed his stripes. Grippi even goes out of his way to state how he is not a fan but an Anteater or whatever he was in college and he is doing his job. But with Bob You see UW fans leaving comments that Bob is a "real Husky" and all that. Sark must be seducing him the same way Husky nation has fallen hard. But Condotta is gone. He is more machine than man now, twisted and evil.

danesh imran said...

"I personally won't be surprised if UW wins by a lot more." He is referring to the same UW team that went 0-12 last year right? Unless Sarkisian is the second coming of Christ, I would think UW needs to get past Idaho before they're favored to win any games until '11.

Sark Sucks said...

This new Coug-a-Sutra guy is a little too far out there for this blog. "Carma"? Get the hell outta here. Sedi I think you should get this guy in line with everyone else before you lose readers.

The Coug-A-Sutra said...

Anony1: We become lost so we can be found.

Portland Coug: LOL.

Danesh: You're true. So true.

Anony2: I like your energy and ability to express your feelings. And for that, Two Carma Chameleons for you this week, my sister or brother.

But I am regretfully sorry to say that I can not fall into line with others. I like being out of line much, much better.

Thank you.

'03CouveCoug said...

Sounds like Condotta has been infected by the mutts delusion....also known as "husky fever."

Hooty McBoob said...

If Condotta writes about uw, why is everyone reading his stuff anyway?

Longball said...

Hooty for the win.

Anonymous said...

This Coug-a-Sutra character sucks. I don't doubt that the scribe has some talent and a functioning cerebrum. I've written for a quasi-journalistic site (with actual paid subscribers), so believe me, I know how difficult it is to write well and to be interesting. The style just doesn't work on this blog, though. Get that shit off of here.

Anonymous said...

Seriously. I echo anonymous. This character blows. Bye coug sutra.

WSU91 said...

I think Condotta is just doing his job. He's a media guy, from one of the best communications departments in the country. In that same post, he predicted the UW to be on the short end of the line in every other game except Idaho. Not exactly a ringing endorsement, and also fairly meaningless in July.

I recall Keith Jackson playing down the whole WSU angle all through '97. He called the UCLA game from Pullman that year and didn't want to go there when interviewed before the game by one of the WSU radio guys - I think it was Bub Nameck. I was at the '98 Rose Bowl, but heard later that Jackson seemed to get a little caught up in the whole Bob/Brian Griese love fest during that game than maybe you might have thought he should. But he's still Keith Jackson, and he's still a great Cougar. Not that it's fair to compare Condotta to Jackson because it isn't.

Sean Hawkins said...

I wouldn't sweat the Sutra. It's just his way. He is on board with us going forward, and it will be just fine. He has replaced BH, but will still provide the same strong content going forward.

And on Portland's tone, I'm not sure what to make of Condotta. I agree though, in today's day and age it's hard to fault him for working hard for the money (and of the mainstream media types, it's hard to find any of them who work as hard as Condotta!). But he was a Coug, so, there's that. But so was Dick Baird. Then again, Dick Baird actually coached at UW, his paychecks coming directly from UW. Condotta just works for the Times, that's all.

I think Portland is right on the beatwriters who also blog. Some of them do become fans in a way, and have a hard time showing it. But others, like Grippi, don't even pretend to be "true Cougs" or whatever people might want to say. I like that about Grippi. He is honest, whether Coug Nation wants to hear it.

What's weird is that Condotta's not only making UW an 11-pt fav, based on the information available today? But he has to interject that he won't be surprised if UW wins by more than that? Danesh is right on man, how could anyone project that far out, in July, from a team that has the nation's longest losing streak?? Does his crystal ball somehow show that WSU won't improve a lick, yet UW is going to be some powerhouse, double-digit runaway freight train that will streamroll the crimson-n-gray? I don't get it.

Who knows, maybe he is overcompensating here? Maybe he is going out of his way to "play up" UW, and "play down" WSU, so people won't accuse him of being the COUG THAT HE REALLY IS!?!? :)

Nah. Even I don't believe that.

Sean Hawkins said...

'91, I was at the game too (like about 400,000 other Coug fans) but I know what you are talking about. In fact, in the broadcast at the end of the game when Bob Griese was overcome with emotion when Brian was named MVP, Jackson said to Bob "now don't start crying, you're going to make me cry too" or something like that. That was a weird broadcast to watch on tape though, I don't know if the camera angles were just bad or what, but it was a little hard to follow. They seemed to kind of be clueless at times. Especially at the end with the 2-second spike, it seemed like massive confusion in the booth as well as the entire stadium for that matter. Oh well. Yeah, I heard ya on Jackson. He is an NCAA force of nature, and I'm glad he's one of our own.

Anonymous said...

Sean said "I wouldn't sweat the Sutra. It's just his way."

Well, your readers are "sweating" the Sutra. I'll agree with the multiple other responders that you should either get rid of this "personality" or at LEAST tell him to tone it down and at keep in more about WSU FOOTBALL.

Anonymous said...

This is the same hater crap redux that that used to appear periodically with BH posts.
As other posters have said before in relation to BH stuff, if you don't like the post, then don't read it. Or hell, start your own blog for that matter. But why people think that they can dictate what someone else does on their blog is beyond me.

I would also like to speak for the "multiple" other commenters (multiple usually means more than two by the way) in saying that I am not bothered one bit by these posts.

Keep up the good work guys.

WSU91 said...

Think I'll have to agree with the most recent anonymous poster, if you don't like it, don't read it. It's Sean and the boys blog, not yours.

Sean, that Rose Bowl was a great one. We had the play to beat them if the spike would have worked out. Not that it was a guarantee. But it still was great to be there.