Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Obama, Grippi Victorious

Pullman, WA: Tonight, Barack Obama was elected to be the 44th President of the United States.

In other races, Vincent Grippi and John Blanchette weathered a furious rally on Monday by the WSU Football Blog for Washington State College Football writers of the Year.

While there was no official statement from Grippi or the Spokesman Review, Brinkhater made this brief statement in front of reporters:

"Today, I sat and watched a 7 vote lead by the WSU Football Blog evaporate in less than two hours."

"During that time, myself and my staff were carefully watching the Blog's Site Meeter and saw 17 log-ins from the Spokesman Review's website over a 30 minute period. Clearly, foul play was at work here: the Spokesman Review stuffed the Ballot box in order to defraud the electorate and steal the election."

Amidst some coughing in the audience, Brinkhater continued:

"While Sedihawk and I agree that Cougar Nation should be united during these times of trouble, this blatant aggression against Cougar Nation's democratic process will not stand."

"And so I say to Sir Vincent "Van-Go" Grippi: We are onto to you and your antics."

"Moreover, we plan to investigate the activities of you and your surrogates to the full extent of the law."

According to anonymous sources, Grippi discharged fellow reporter Greg Lee

early this afternoon to the Spokesman Review's marketing department with the expressed purpose of changing the outcome of the election.

The source said that a post on Sportslink by a commentor named Diane early on Tuesday spurred the aggressive move by the Grippi and Blanchette campaign.

Meanwhile, as reported above, Grippi himself remained unavailable for comment.

Even at this late hour, it is unclear whether or not Grippi would receive a trophy for the award, and if so, when receipt of the award would occur.

It is also unclear whether or not the award actually existed or if an actual election ever occured.

Stay tuned.


Anonymous said...

wtf is this nothing is over! I demand an investigation.

Longball said...

While it does appear that the outcome in this race was influenced in some part by shenanigans, I also feel this race would not been as close were it not for that damning video of Brinkhater that made its way round the interwebs recently. In it he explains to a crowd how a football, being perfectly shaped to be held in the human hand, is proof positive that it is indeed the creation of an intelligent being and not the result of millions of years of evolution. (or was it a banana?) The Cougar nation is conservative, but not yet ready to embrace that level of wingnuttery. With that in mind, I would like to announce my candidacy in 2012.

Until then I begrudgingly offer congratulations to Mr. Grippi and Mr. Blanchette.

Anonymous said...

Longball in 2012!!!! Send your $ and join the campaign now!