Friday, July 18, 2008

Brinkhater Diaries: Tickle Me Elmo

Brinkhater Diaries Vol 1 (6)

“Come on, tickle me Elmo.”


“I said, COME ON!.....TICKLE ME, Elmo!”


So, many of you have been wondering about why we have been picked to finish last in the CRAP-10 conference this year. And, this week we got a good sniff as to why.

Chief among these prognosticators is the venerable Ted Miller as well as the Times’ Bob “Benedict Arnold” Condotta. Each provided a list of rankings of Pac-10 Quarterbacks this week.

And, low and behold, our very own Gary Rogers and his posse of back-ups were rated not first, not second, not fifth, not seventh, but DEAD STINKIN last.

How could it be, Noble Sires of the Scribe?

After all, most Cougar fans, diehards, and other masters of denial such as me still spend HOURS thinking of the glory we could have experienced in the Deep South if Rogers had JUST been able to stay in the game. Remember??



And, when you watch that tape you know why it is that my two boys may need to lay off the sauce when picking stiffs like Sean Canfiled ahead of my man GR (who of course wears the same number as Brinkhater’s hero, David Krieg).

Of course, it isn’t as if Rogers’ illustrious history in Crimson and Grey ended with the Auburn game.

Many of you Cougar die-hards may also remember his SPECTACULAR 20 yard throw to Jason Hill two years ago that enabled us to escape with a thrilling 1 point victory over the happy (memo to NW fans: NO ONE in Texas is EVER hapless!) 2-9 Baylor Bears.

Yet, because of an injury weeks later against CAL, we have not really seen what Gary Rogers CAN do on the football field.

What we have seen, however, is what he has NOT been able to do.

Granted, part of Rogers’ problems last year was that the Doba-Rosey conglomerate wouldn’t put G.R on the field until there was a buck and change left in the game.

And more often then not, they wouldn’t even let him throw.

However, when they did allow G.R to pull the trigger, it wasn’t pretty.

In fact, Rogers’ performance last year was outright hideous.


So, the REAL Gary Rogers will have his chance to stand up this year. Although he is both green and unproven, he enters this season loaded at the skill positions and is fronted by Ted Miller’s No. 5 offensive line in the conference.

Therefore, when you factor in that spread offenses like Oregon, Mizzou, Kansas, and so forth have yet to have a ROCKET armed quarterback at the helm, you have to be enticed to see what a spread offense looks like with someone who can really zing the ball to the flat and throw it 125 yards down field.

So, if Rogers can make reads and not try to throw through people this year, he will finish in the top 3 in the conference in quarterback rating and touchdowns….Bank on it.

Are you still a Weaver Believer?

I am.

When I first heard that Kyle was drafted by Charlotte, I was more deflated than elated. But then, I remembered that the Bobbycats are now coached by Mr Hipshaker, Larry Brown.

Because Brown is such a great coach and purist, you all need not worry that Kyle hasn’t signed a contract yet. Since Weaver will make the team and will play right away, Kyle is right to hold out to get some solid dough.

Its going to be fun watching him develop into a pro’s pro.

Meanwhile, as reported by the Sacramento Bee this week, Love-em-and-leave-em Larry actually accepted the Stanford job this past spring only to turn it down two days later for the NBA.

In my view, its really too bad that Larry didn’t join the Trees. I for one would have LOVED to see him and Mike Montgomery square off twice a year in the Bay Area for who has the best fake-bake tan job in the month of February.


Don’t know about you, but I’d take Montgomery and the points anytime, anywhere.

Finally, in recognition of my increasing National and International stature over the past few weeks, I thought it might be prudent for me to share with you some more about myself and my various likings.

With that in mind, I encourage you to partake in my latest project: Brinkhater’s “Book of the Month Club.”

For this month, I suggest a really great book by a NW writer. The title of the book: “The Art of Racing in the Rain.” The narrator of the book is, of all things, a dog.

But what a dog it is!

For all of you men out there looking for another excuse to cry on the toilet, this one is for you.

And yes, even the Mrs. will enjoy this one as well.

All disclaimers aside, you’ll enjoy it.

Have a great weekend.

6 comments:

Sedihawk said...

The upside is just so great with Rogers. You can hear Ed Cunningham gush about him after a couple of those throws. Maybe he'll have a bitter-sweet season, where we're going to be stumbling around mumbling "if only...."

CJ Davis said...

"So, if Rogers can make reads and not try to throw through people this year, he will finish in the top 3 in the conference in quarterback rating and touchdowns….Bank on it."

That is some great analysis Bank-man...By the way if the Cougars outscore there opponents every game this year than they are going to go undefeated. If Barack Obama wins 45 states in November he will take the White House. If you get Laid sometime this year brinkhater you will lose your virginity.

Coach Mike Price said...

Stay classy CJ.

Σ (FormerlyKnownAsBrinkHater) said...

Thanks, CJ for giving me hope that someday I might be somebody. Thanks again.

But let me ask you, if Canfield or Olson made 'there' reads and didn't try to throw people would they have such an upside? Honestly, I don't think so.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going back to my Steve Carell shrine with the hope that I too may get lucky before I turn 40.

thanks for the lift, CJ.

By the way, is your moniker that of the WSU receiver or that hot babe on the TV show TJ Hooker?

Σ (FormerlyKnownAsBrinkHater) said...

Thanks, CJ for giving me hope that someday I might be somebody. Thanks again.

But let me ask you, if Canfield or Olson made 'there' reads and didn't try to throw people would they have such an upside? Honestly, I don't think so.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going back to my Steve Carell shrine with the hope that I too may get lucky before I turn 40.

thanks for the lift, CJ.

By the way, is your moniker that of the WSU receiver or that hot babe on the TV show TJ Hooker?

Σ (FormerlyKnownAsBrinkHater) said...

Too bad I couldn't figure out how to post the same comment three times.

Word to Brinkhater-hater hecklers: the second "paragraph" should have read "didn't try to throw THROUGH people"

Have a good one, yall.