Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Say it ain't so, Handsome Pete!

Am I the only one outside of Compton who is absolutely horrified by the idea of Pete Carroll bolting Troy to become the latest in the long line of head coaches who have moved between the NCAA and NFL; only to fail in spectacular fashion?

This phenomenon of the coaching world, which is neither confined to the sport of football, nor limited to moving "up" from the minors to the pros, demands further investigation. Is it for the ego; or the bank account? What on God's green earth would compel a man to leave a position in which he were revered as a KING, for the unknown that awaits? Regardless of whether he wears the crown as King of LA in the media capital of the west coast; or the King of Poop Island in the home of the National Lentil Festival; I will never understand why a man would give up the keys to a new Cadillac for what's behind door #3.

I don't want to even imagine a Pac-10 without Pete Carroll at USC. When you really despise a team in college football, you despise the history more than you do the current roster. In baseball on the other hand, you hate the way the Yankees dominated the field for so long but you also grew to detest Steinbrenner, Jeter, O'Neill, Knoblauch, Brosius, and the like. You really spread the hate around. It's healthy.

You really need at least one face to hate. With the ever-shrinking tenure of the average college football player, it's practically impossible to develop a healthy hatred for one. I tried like hell to hate Reggie Bush but failed miserably. Before him, I tried hating a long line of former Trojan players but I just didn't get a chance to know them. I guess I briefly hated Todd Marinovich after the Dad's Day comeback in '89, so I suppose there are exceptions. But occasional fleeting hatred aside, we need Pete Carroll (and Ken Norton for that matter) at USC so our hatred will be complete. With USC, I suppose we'll always hate the perpetual loop of their fight song during every game and the constant "V' sign from fans and players - but we need more than that!


Pete Carroll is the face of USC football and the face we love to hate. I actually look forward to every opportunity I get to watch him. There is simply nothing better than watching him work a game. He's on the field more than USC's long-snapper, constantly working the refs - buttering them up early so they'll be in his hip pocket if the game gets close at the end. I take that back. The only thing better than that is watching his facial expressions during the ups and downs of a game. 98% of the time he just has that pompous look of arrogance that shames you into upgrading your trailer to a double-wide; but the other 2% of the time when things aren't going right for his team - is absolutely priceless. He seems to maintain the arrogance through a look of disbelief and astonishment.



This is the look that says "How the hell did these idiots manage to fuck up my flawless game plan?!" With Pete at the helm, nobody really beats USC, they just get lucky. Just ask him.
So on top of this ice-cream sundae of hate, the proverbial cherry on top is none other than Rick Neuheisel. I can honestly say that I have never hated anything about UCLA and probably won't until we face them for the first time with Slick Rick on the sideline. But if I hate Pete Carroll - I super-hate Rick Neuheisel. If Carroll were to leave USC for the Atlanta Falcons now, the inevitable speculation would be that on top of all that "nothing left to accomplish here" nonsense, would be that Pete felt at least a little threatened by the new coach at the rival school across town. I'd REALLY hate to see Slick Rick become the new King of LA by default.
I'm sure that by the time I finish breakfast in the morning Pete will come to his senses and announce that he's staying "home" at USC and for that, the entire Pac-10 says "Hate On!"

4 comments:

Sedihawk said...

Good stuff Hooty. And, as much as this is weird to admit? I actually LIKE Pete Carroll! I know, I'm nuts, but he's just so flippin' perfect for college football. I don't get it, at all, why he would even consider a move to ATL when he's king of the world at SC. Plus, like he always says, "why would I go to the NFL and get just 1 first round draft pick, when at USC I get 25 first rounders every February?" He's High School Harry, rah-rah in every way yet a great coach too.

Maybe I don't hate him because of his enthusiasm, but also because they are super good and he knows it. He's arrogant, sure, but not in the way of a Stoops or Les Miles, you know? Carroll keeps things light and loose and his players adore him. He's likable.

Your best point of all is we need Pete Caroll and USC as it is. Just like MLB needs the Yanks, we need SC. Maybe not to hate, but for the target to shoot at. Plus, SC validates the Pac-10 on the national map, even in years it's not very good, we still can say "yeah, but USC kicked your a$$ in the Rose Bowl!" or whatever else BCS bowl they won.

Hooty McBoob said...

One way or the other, he IS good for the college football and the Pac-10. It would be a huge loss for not only the Pac-10 but the west coast in general.

Poux said...

Excellent post. I laughed, I cried, it was the feel-good post of the winter.

kaddy said...

I would much rather have USC be the dominant program in the Pac-10 than others, most especially Nike U or the Purple Poopstains. Pete Carroll himself put the Pac-10 back on the map of college football. If he leaves, who will generate national attention in our league - no one, I fear.